A bird living on the coast of the US is the world’s most promiscuous bird, say scientists.

The saltmarsh sparrow, a bird that lives in the marshes of Connecticut, was found to have extreme levels of multiple mating.

The researchers found that 95% of females mated with more than one male during each nesting period.

This unusual behaviour could be a survival mechanism due to coastal flooding, researchers say.

The researchers, who are based in the US, publish their results in the journal The Auk.

Sexy sparrows

Using DNA analyses and studying the birds mating behaviour in the marsh habitat, the scientists revealed the highly promiscuous activities of the bird.

We think that it is the most promiscuous bird species studied to date
Professor Chris Elphick
University of Connecticut

“We found that nearly every clutch of eggs was the product of more than one father, and that within broods it was extremely common for any two siblings to have different fathers,” says Professor Chris Elphick from the University of Connecticut.

What you’ve learned is that people approach this model with many, many different intentions and needs, and that these can shift and change over time. Non-monogamy can be exhilarating when it works but, when it’s challenging, it’s gut-wrenching. The bottom line: in every relationship, each person’s expectations and personality deeply affect its chances of success.

It’s easy to assume when we meet someone who also chooses non-monogamy (not polyamory - that’s a whole other kettle of fish) that this commonality implies others. Overjoyed (and sometimes a little smug) to meet someone else who’s chosen a sexually unconventional lifestyle, we forget to read the fine print. Or we read the fine print but, as feelings change, it gets blurry.

Non-monogamists often express frustration when monogamists say people choose non-monogamy because they can’t commit. While I understand that irritation, I can also see that non-monogamy may allow people to keep others, even their primary partners, at a distance.

Just as a lot of people default to monogamy because they can’t handle jealousy, some default to non-monogamy because they can’t tolerate their independence being compromised. Fair enough. They’ve found a way to maintain their autonomy. Their loyalty to their relationship per se is not up for debate, but it is very much on terms that can feel incompatible with real intimacy.

I think the only way to know what you want out of this type of relationship is the same as in any other: experiment, perhaps painfully, until you recognize your own needs and limitations and are able to express them clearly.

But again, even when you’ve been clear, things can sometimes change radically. Welcome to getting involved with people and pulling your pants down in front of them, no matter what model you choose.

If you haven’t read it already, Tristan Taormino’s Opening Up (Cleis Press) is a book you might want to look at. Taormino interviews more than 100 couples who have done non-monogamy in its countless variations, and they share with her their successes and failures. It’s a good guide to have along on your voyage.

Questions? Comments? Contact Sasha at pouledeluxe@yahoo.com.

Among other things, 2009 contained several high-profile news stories. Among them were reports of well-known public figures, or celebrities, whose marriages had dramatically “and very openly” fallen to pieces, such as South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford and superstar golfer Tiger Woods. Now, some scientists say monogamy is a completely unnatural human condition. Host Michel Martin is joined by multimedia journalist (and former NPR host) Farai Chideya, who recently penned an article for theRoot.com, aptly titled “the M word: Talking Marriage and Monogamy in the Time of Tiger Woods.” Also hear from Pamela Druckerman, author of “Lust in translation: The rules of infidelity from Tokyo to Tennessee.” The women discuss whether expectations of fidelity is possible in intimate relationships.