This morning, as I was luxuriating in bed, I began to fantasize and get down and funky with my own bad self (yes, I’ve been hanging out with Mollena—can you tell??).

As I let my mind wander to images and situations that might turn me on, this is the scenario that unfolded:

A big, powerful man pins down both my arms and taunts me, asking if I think there is anything I can do to prevent this from happening. He challenges me to even try to struggle. When I do, he easily pins my legs with his thighs, leans in close, and whispers that he is going to take whatever he wants, and there is nothing I can do to stop it.

Okay, yum! Good stuff, right?

And then, as my minds wanders and flips to the next scene, something awful happens.

He fastens my wrists to the bed so he can move around. He stands up, walks to the door, and in walks another woman. He proceeds to throw her up against the wall and fuck her in front of me, making it clear that she is more important than I am and that I will never be a priority. He makes it clear that she dislikes me, and she makes it clear that she will manipulate him away at every turn. I lay there helpless, knowing I will never have sex again.

How the fuck did that happen? For god’s sake, this is MY FANTASY! Lord, I can’t even arrange to be the focus of attention in my OWN DAMN FANTASY?! ::headdesk::

Yes, I started the fantasy over and ended it with a good dozen men fucking me and coming on my face, just like I like. :-) But still, that first version, drawn from real life, had no place there!